The term “loneliness epidemic” has been gaining popularity, despite sufficient data indicating that the level of loneliness has not changed significantly since pre-COVID times. Whether stable or not, the rising popularity of the idea perhaps highlights how severe disconnection is becoming and clearly shows that more of us feel more socially isolated than ever before. It suggests that modern life might be stopping us from forming meaningful connections. 

But let’s consider another perspective: what if, instead of a lack of connection, the so-called loneliness epidemic is revealing something deeper and more subtle at play?

It is clear that humanity has reached a point of transition. It seems fitting to identify 2020, or what I call ‘COVID-Year 1,’ as the beginning of this change; however, societal and global shifts usually occur more gradually, so it’s more accurate to say that 2020 marked the culmination of a slow-moving process leading up to that moment. Moreover, as Octavia Butler reminds us, the only lasting truth is Change. From this perspective, it can be helpful to see humanity and life as constantly evolving rather than fixed.

Humanity has continually evolved how we connect with each other. In the past, our relationships mostly depended on physical presence—close-knit families, friendly neighbors, and local communities provided us with direct interaction, touch, and warmth. However, over the past few decades, many of our social interactions have gradually shifted to online spaces, and the pandemic accelerated this shift when we were all essentially forced to stay connected through the internet. 

During the pandemic, we all realized that digital communities can be just as meaningful as face-to-face interactions. Mostly out of necessity, of course, but still meaningful. Now, in COVID Year 5, five years after lockdowns forced us all indoors indefinitely, many of us are still struggling to reconcile what we have become—partly digitally reliant for community—with what we once were, mostly dependent on in-person interactions.

It is essential to acknowledge that neither type of connection can entirely replace the other, and I argue that what we are experiencing as the loneliness epidemic is, in fact, the challenge of striking a healthy balance between them. If you’re feeling lonely today, you might be experiencing what sociologists call a “cultural lag,” which explains how human beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors (non-material culture) take time to catch up with rapid changes in material culture, such as technological advances.

Since our brains and cultural habits have evolved to prioritize face-to-face interactions, they haven’t fully adapted to the reality that friendships, professional networks, activism, and even romantic relationships can thrive entirely online. Therefore, the loneliness many of us experience is the gap between in-person connections, most of which have been difficult to replace after the pandemic, and digital connections, which are not always easy to establish.

This isn’t the first time humanity has gone through such a change. The invention of the printing press in the 15th century shifted much of our cultural life from lively public squares to the more personal world of books, and for the first time, people could educate and inform themselves on a large scale. Similarly, in the 19th century, the telephone introduced a new way to communicate without being physically close—initially met with skepticism, despite bringing many positive effects on how we connect across space and time. Later, in the mid-20th century, television also changed social gatherings, encouraging us to meet in our living rooms and transforming street life.

In each instance, new technology has not eliminated human connection but rather redefined it. Adapting to these changes required time as we learned to establish new norms and etiquette that blend traditional and modern forms of communication. The so-called loneliness epidemic may thus be understood as the growing pains of our evolution. Instead of perceiving it as a lack of connection, it might be more helpful to view it as the emergence of a new social landscape.

The challenge isn’t necessarily that we can’t make connections anymore; it’s that the way we connect is changing. We may still interact or rely solely on face-to-face contact. However, in a rapidly evolving technological landscape, it’s essential to learn how to combine both digital and in-person connections in ways that are meaningful, genuine, and enriching. This might be the only way we can aim to create and maintain fulfilling contact with others, even as we navigate and try to make sense of our individual and collective existence in a postmodern world.